Jokes

For everything else..... try not to spill your drinks OK?
Post Reply
JAW
Posts: 832
Joined: Thu Mar 04, 2010 9:46 pm

Jokes

Post by JAW »

Thought this might be a bit of fun, so here's a starter,

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the
stranger turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights
go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said
to the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?"

Oh, I don't know", said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you
a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, the same
stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat
patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose
that is?"

The stranger thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea,"

To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to
discuss nuclear power when you don't know sh!t?"
User avatar
cybot
Posts: 6916
Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2010 3:20 pm

Re: Jokes

Post by cybot »

Nice one Johnny :-)
JAW
Posts: 832
Joined: Thu Mar 04, 2010 9:46 pm

Re: Jokes

Post by JAW »

Here's a good one!

Image
User avatar
cybot
Posts: 6916
Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2010 3:20 pm

Re: Jokes

Post by cybot »

Another good laugh -:)
User avatar
k99_64
Posts: 146
Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2010 11:22 pm

Re: Jokes

Post by k99_64 »

A Mexican a Jew and a colored guy go into a bar,

the barman looks up and says

'Get the fuck out of here'
JAW
Posts: 832
Joined: Thu Mar 04, 2010 9:46 pm

Re: Jokes

Post by JAW »

k99_64 wrote:A Mexican a Jew and a colored guy go into a bar,

the barman looks up and says

'Get the fuck out of here'

Very good! So non pc I'm cringing!


A blonde who had been unemployed for several months got a job with The Public Works. She was to paint lines down the centre of a rural road.The supervisor told her that she was on probation and that she must stay at or above the set average of 2 miles per day to remain employed.The blonde agreed to the conditions and started right away. The supervisor checking up at the end of the day, found that the blonde had completed 4 miles on her first day, double the average! "Great" he told her, " I think your're really going to work out".
The next day, however, he was disppointed to find that the blonde only got 2 miles painted,he thought, " Well she's still at the average and I dont want to discourage her, so i'll just keep quiet". On the third day, the blonde only did one mile and the boss thought, I need to talk to her before this get's any worse.
The boss pulled the new employee in and said "You were doing so great, the first day you did 4 miles, the second day 2 miles, but yesterday you only did 1 mile. Why? Is there a problem,? An injury,equipment failure ?What's keeping you from meeting the 2 mile minimum?"
The blonde replied " Well each day i keep getting further and further away from the bucket"

Genuine News Headlines - It's difficult to get your precise meaning across in English!

Something went wrong in Jet crash, experts say

Police begin campaign to run down jay-walkers

Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?

Panda mating fails; Vetinarian takes over

Miners refuse to work after death

Juvenile Court to try shooting defendant

War dims hope of peace

If Strike isn't settled quickly, it may last a while

Cold wave linked to temperature

Enfield couple slain; Police suspect Homicide

Red tape holds up new bridges

Man struck by lightning: faces battery charge

New study of obesity looks for larger test group

Astronaut takes blame for gas in spacecraft

Kids make delicious snacks

Local high- school drop- outs cut in half

Hospitals are sued by seven foot doctors

Typhoon rips through cemetery; hundreds dead
User avatar
k99_64
Posts: 146
Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2010 11:22 pm

Re: Jokes

Post by k99_64 »

JAW wrote:
k99_64 wrote:A Mexican a Jew and a colored guy go into a bar,

the barman looks up and says

'Get the fuck out of here'

Very good! So non pc I'm cringing!

Hey there be two kinds of people I hate in this world! Racists and Niggers.
User avatar
cybot
Posts: 6916
Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2010 3:20 pm

Re: Jokes

Post by cybot »

Image
User avatar
k99_64
Posts: 146
Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2010 11:22 pm

Re: Jokes

Post by k99_64 »

Image

Image
User avatar
cybot
Posts: 6916
Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2010 3:20 pm

Re: Jokes

Post by cybot »

k99_64 wrote:Image

Image

L O L :-))))))))
Post Reply