Tír Na HiFi

Don't think Frankie was a big fan of Thatcher!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yzk6cxNRRUc

A toilet attendant was being intervieved on t.v. The interviewer asked about the changes he had seen. He replied that now the toilets are used mainly by junkies shooting up,gays using them for dates leaving their mess etc,but the other day a man came in and had a good crap. He said it was like a breath of fresh air.

Hide n' seek
The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?" Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?" "Yes", whispered the small voice. "May I talk with him?" the man asked. To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No." Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?" "Yes", came the answer. "May I talk with her?" Again the small voice whispered, "No." Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child. "Is there any one there besides you?" the boss asked the child. "Yes" whispered the child, "a policeman." Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?" "No, he's busy," whispered the child. "Busy doing what?" asked the boss. "Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman", came the whispered answer. Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?" "A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice. "What is going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed. In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper." Alarmed, concerned, and more than just a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?" Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle: "Me!"

A man brings his best pal home for dinner - unannounced - at 5:30 in the evening . . . .

Wife (on the top of her voice withing earshot of the pal): "Jaysuz - me hair & makeup aren't done, the house is a pigsty, the dishes are not done, I'm still in me pajamas and I can't be arsed cooking tonight! What the hell did you bring that gobshite home for?"

Husband: "Because he's thinking of getting married"

Ace!